Tuesday, July 31
> I am not happy today, again.
I am not happy today.
Not because i ended work at 3am, 2 hours past my normal working time.
Not because my tom yam ban mian i had for dinner wasnt spicy enough.
Not because my period hasnt come for this month.
Not because i had almost 500 messy trades to match.
Not because i havent gone on a retail therapy to save money.
I am just not happy, and i dont know why.
I need some quiet time to search myself and ask myself "whats wrong? Whats happening? Why is the world changing to a place i dont wish to be in? Why am i here not there? Why was i out not in?"
I am not happy not because im not happy.
I am not happy because i dont know why am i not happy.
I think i should just go and sleep.
I am not happy today.
Not because i ended work at 3am, 2 hours past my normal working time.
Not because my tom yam ban mian i had for dinner wasnt spicy enough.
Not because my period hasnt come for this month.
Not because i had almost 500 messy trades to match.
Not because i havent gone on a retail therapy to save money.
I am just not happy, and i dont know why.
I need some quiet time to search myself and ask myself "whats wrong? Whats happening? Why is the world changing to a place i dont wish to be in? Why am i here not there? Why was i out not in?"
I am not happy not because im not happy.
I am not happy because i dont know why am i not happy.
I think i should just go and sleep.
sealed-with-a-kiss < 4:00:00 am
___________________________________________
Sunday, July 29
> losing myself, again.
When anticipation turned to disappointment, i wished i didnt see him again.
I wished we never got back in contact.
I wished i forgot how is it like to miss somebody.
----------------------------------------------------------
Plans.
Adults and older people always tell the younger ones to make plans. To plan for their future, plan for their life, plan for their retirement. To make goals, to work towards goals, to achieve what they want to acheive, to be successful...
Plans? Goals? I made many, but which of it actually happened? Which of it was actually fulfilled?
I learnt ballet since when i was 4, i planned to complete till the advance stage. And what happened? I stopped ballet at Grade 7, the most stupid thing to do when i already reached that stage!
I planned to study in a girls school after PSLE. And what happened? I ended up in a neighbourhood school, something called Geylang Methodist, definately not an all girls school.
I planned to study Hospitality and Tourism Management in Temasek Polytechnic after O'levels. And what happened? I ended up taking Accounting and Finance and i totally hate accounting, not to mention, suck at finance.
I planned to further my studies in Business Management in any local university. And what happened? I ended up working in Credit Suisse, totally losing touch with studies and lecture notes.
So why plan when ultimately none of my plans work out the way i planned. Why set goals when reality differs from dreams?
Im not saying its not good to plan, i fancy people who plans for their future. But when i think further based on my own experiences, i really dont know why i made plans earlier on when nothing i planned was carried out.
Its just too hard to achieve what you really want, circumstances do cause a lot of changes dont they?
I hate myself today. I hate myself for being so moody and i hate the cause of it.
When anticipation turned to disappointment, i wished i didnt see him again.
I wished we never got back in contact.
I wished i forgot how is it like to miss somebody.
----------------------------------------------------------
Plans.
Adults and older people always tell the younger ones to make plans. To plan for their future, plan for their life, plan for their retirement. To make goals, to work towards goals, to achieve what they want to acheive, to be successful...
Plans? Goals? I made many, but which of it actually happened? Which of it was actually fulfilled?
I learnt ballet since when i was 4, i planned to complete till the advance stage. And what happened? I stopped ballet at Grade 7, the most stupid thing to do when i already reached that stage!
I planned to study in a girls school after PSLE. And what happened? I ended up in a neighbourhood school, something called Geylang Methodist, definately not an all girls school.
I planned to study Hospitality and Tourism Management in Temasek Polytechnic after O'levels. And what happened? I ended up taking Accounting and Finance and i totally hate accounting, not to mention, suck at finance.
I planned to further my studies in Business Management in any local university. And what happened? I ended up working in Credit Suisse, totally losing touch with studies and lecture notes.
So why plan when ultimately none of my plans work out the way i planned. Why set goals when reality differs from dreams?
Im not saying its not good to plan, i fancy people who plans for their future. But when i think further based on my own experiences, i really dont know why i made plans earlier on when nothing i planned was carried out.
Its just too hard to achieve what you really want, circumstances do cause a lot of changes dont they?
I hate myself today. I hate myself for being so moody and i hate the cause of it.
sealed-with-a-kiss < 4:31:00 am
___________________________________________
Monday, July 23
> The most daring thing i ever did thus far
OMG you wont know what i did today.
I stole my dad's car out for cheap thrill. Picked Ling up from his place and headed down to Tampines Mall. Lost my way while driving to Pasir Ris, ended up drving rounds and rounds in Tampines.
Then, i just picked my sis up from Katong and at the same time send her friends off.
All was smoothly done till i parked the damn car. The side mirror got scratched by the pillar and now theres a damn long scratch.
IM IN DEEP SHIT LAH!!!
Now Derrick is on his way to come save the car with wax and all.
Oh man, cant imagine what will happen to me when my parents are back in town and realised that i touched the fucking car.
Help!!
OMG you wont know what i did today.
I stole my dad's car out for cheap thrill. Picked Ling up from his place and headed down to Tampines Mall. Lost my way while driving to Pasir Ris, ended up drving rounds and rounds in Tampines.
Then, i just picked my sis up from Katong and at the same time send her friends off.
All was smoothly done till i parked the damn car. The side mirror got scratched by the pillar and now theres a damn long scratch.
IM IN DEEP SHIT LAH!!!
Now Derrick is on his way to come save the car with wax and all.
Oh man, cant imagine what will happen to me when my parents are back in town and realised that i touched the fucking car.
Help!!
sealed-with-a-kiss < 2:10:00 am
___________________________________________
Saturday, July 21
> Prawning session + Interns farewell.
Brought the 3 musketeers on their first prawning trip last week. I caught only 2 but big prawns, Mark caught 1 small prawn and 1 small fish, Senchuan caught 1 big prawn and HanYong caught none. Lmao!
Barbecued the prawns on the spot. Quite sad to see the live prawns grilling on the pit trying very hard to survive. Especially when HanYong was such a, violent killer!
Yesterday were the interns last day at Credit Suisse. We had a farewell party for them at MoS. Many many people turned up and i totally lost every image i have because i was so wasted i started puking into the jug at the table in front of so many people. I couldnt sit straight, couldnt walk straight.
If you asked me how much i drank, i would say i dont know. Because all i knew was that every where i went, they are trying to make me drunk. I was downing jugs after jugs and when i knew i reached my limit, my boss offered me another jug of drink and tell me, how can i say no to him?!
Totally died! So unglam, so drunk, so wasted so embarrassing!!!
Oh well, pictures time.
I need to rest now, bloody hangover!
Brought the 3 musketeers on their first prawning trip last week. I caught only 2 but big prawns, Mark caught 1 small prawn and 1 small fish, Senchuan caught 1 big prawn and HanYong caught none. Lmao!
Barbecued the prawns on the spot. Quite sad to see the live prawns grilling on the pit trying very hard to survive. Especially when HanYong was such a, violent killer!
Yesterday were the interns last day at Credit Suisse. We had a farewell party for them at MoS. Many many people turned up and i totally lost every image i have because i was so wasted i started puking into the jug at the table in front of so many people. I couldnt sit straight, couldnt walk straight.
If you asked me how much i drank, i would say i dont know. Because all i knew was that every where i went, they are trying to make me drunk. I was downing jugs after jugs and when i knew i reached my limit, my boss offered me another jug of drink and tell me, how can i say no to him?!
Totally died! So unglam, so drunk, so wasted so embarrassing!!!
Oh well, pictures time.
I need to rest now, bloody hangover!
sealed-with-a-kiss < 3:52:00 pm
___________________________________________
Sunday, July 15
> its a happy dayyyyyy
I am very happy today, and all of you are gonna be so lucky!
I woke up damn early today to have lunch with my sis and parents at RTC (Raffles Town Club). The only restuarant we would really wanna eat there is the Japanese one and i swear never to order so much sushi, sashima and tempura the next time round because i was so bloated i couldnt even walk!
Then, i had some ME time getting myself browned by the pool. I was just slightly darker but my face is still damn bloody fair. I hate it!! Its not the beautiful fair like the other fair models, but the pale sickly fair colour that everyone would think im ill or something.
Had a damn good refreshing bath, put on a face mask followed by eye mask. So loving it. And im meeting my all time bestie for some love right after this post.
Tell me how can i not be happy today?!
And now, to why its you, readers' lucky day. Because im so happy, im going to post zillion of pictures of my sister and i taken this noon on our way to RTC and you'll get to see me, without cosmetics and photoshop. I swear we look ugly, (okay maybe just me) but its okay, because im happy.
Please dont say that im fair and i look sick, because i dont wanna be fair and i am not sick.
These are just a handful of those 70 pictures we took. RTC is all the way at Bukit Timah, so uber far!
Want more?
Here you go!
So next time when you see me on the road without any make-up like any other plain jane, please do not point your finger at me and whisper to your peers saying "wah lau she's damn ugly".
I so wanted to give my skin some breathing space today so i didnt wanna leave my house with any cosmetics on, but i think they guys are going BoatQuay tonight to celebrate HanYong's birthday!
Sorry dear face, next week i shall pamper you once again.
Bye for now!
postnote: i think the guys lied cos they told Jane it was Kenny's birthday. KNS! Trying to be funny huH!
I am very happy today, and all of you are gonna be so lucky!
I woke up damn early today to have lunch with my sis and parents at RTC (Raffles Town Club). The only restuarant we would really wanna eat there is the Japanese one and i swear never to order so much sushi, sashima and tempura the next time round because i was so bloated i couldnt even walk!
Then, i had some ME time getting myself browned by the pool. I was just slightly darker but my face is still damn bloody fair. I hate it!! Its not the beautiful fair like the other fair models, but the pale sickly fair colour that everyone would think im ill or something.
Had a damn good refreshing bath, put on a face mask followed by eye mask. So loving it. And im meeting my all time bestie for some love right after this post.
Tell me how can i not be happy today?!
And now, to why its you, readers' lucky day. Because im so happy, im going to post zillion of pictures of my sister and i taken this noon on our way to RTC and you'll get to see me, without cosmetics and photoshop. I swear we look ugly, (okay maybe just me) but its okay, because im happy.
Please dont say that im fair and i look sick, because i dont wanna be fair and i am not sick.
These are just a handful of those 70 pictures we took. RTC is all the way at Bukit Timah, so uber far!
Want more?
Here you go!
So next time when you see me on the road without any make-up like any other plain jane, please do not point your finger at me and whisper to your peers saying "wah lau she's damn ugly".
I so wanted to give my skin some breathing space today so i didnt wanna leave my house with any cosmetics on, but i think they guys are going BoatQuay tonight to celebrate HanYong's birthday!
Sorry dear face, next week i shall pamper you once again.
Bye for now!
postnote: i think the guys lied cos they told Jane it was Kenny's birthday. KNS! Trying to be funny huH!
sealed-with-a-kiss < 6:06:00 pm
___________________________________________
Saturday, July 14
> Pubbing with ze boys.
More pictures on David's 21st below.
Met ze ex-boyfriend of 6 years ago with Hanyong and Mark after work last night for drinks at BoatQuay. I think the last time i met them was almost a year ago. Alcohol is still so not for me because i was the weakest drinker and the reddest lobster. My lips were so red and i swear i didnt put lipstick (i hate it in fact).
I realised that im still good friends with guys who i once dated (except for one), so who said two people cant be friends if they cant be lovers? I totally disagree!
It is pretty weird how i can hang out with them at ease when i dont even talk to Mark nor Hanyong back in school days. On the whole, i had a really great time last night.
A couple of my friends were commenting about the new law where you cant smoke in clubs and pubs. I thought it was quite dumb because when i drink, i must smoke. But after yesterday, i start to think that it was actually quite a pretty good idea cos at least i wont have to go home stinking with smoke smell all over my clothes, hair and body.
But at a pub its still okay because a pub in small and is easy to walk in and out just to smoke. I cant imagine squeezing myself out of Phuture for 15 mins just to take a 5 mins puff and try to squeeze my way in for another 15mins.
That's crazy, and stupid.
And now, its time to continue slacking until i feel like leaving my house to meet the supper boys.
More pictures on David's 21st below.
Met ze ex-boyfriend of 6 years ago with Hanyong and Mark after work last night for drinks at BoatQuay. I think the last time i met them was almost a year ago. Alcohol is still so not for me because i was the weakest drinker and the reddest lobster. My lips were so red and i swear i didnt put lipstick (i hate it in fact).
I realised that im still good friends with guys who i once dated (except for one), so who said two people cant be friends if they cant be lovers? I totally disagree!
It is pretty weird how i can hang out with them at ease when i dont even talk to Mark nor Hanyong back in school days. On the whole, i had a really great time last night.
A couple of my friends were commenting about the new law where you cant smoke in clubs and pubs. I thought it was quite dumb because when i drink, i must smoke. But after yesterday, i start to think that it was actually quite a pretty good idea cos at least i wont have to go home stinking with smoke smell all over my clothes, hair and body.
But at a pub its still okay because a pub in small and is easy to walk in and out just to smoke. I cant imagine squeezing myself out of Phuture for 15 mins just to take a 5 mins puff and try to squeeze my way in for another 15mins.
That's crazy, and stupid.
And now, its time to continue slacking until i feel like leaving my house to meet the supper boys.
sealed-with-a-kiss < 4:55:00 pm
___________________________________________
Sunday, July 8
> 07-07-07 Shopping spree @ VivoCity
Yesterday i had a very happy shopping spree at VivoCity with Jeffrey. I went into every shop and left the shop with at least an item. Topshop, Forever 21, Zara, Pull and Bear, Tangs, you name it i bought it.
And there goes $300 bucks off my savings account.
Saw many familiar faces too!
The journey there was an hour long train ride. So sian lor!
Jeffrey hates to take pictures, cos he always siam the camera. Dont believe?
First stop - lunch @ Superdogs.
Its our both virgin visit to this fast food place. Pretty ex i would say but the food is pretty good.
Jeff siams the camera from the train station all the way to lunch.
Shopped all the way after lunch till dinner. Then suddenly, i spotted a pretty girl at Chomel.
Long time no see Emelia, we must meet up soon okay?!
Jeff and i had dinner at Mussel Guys.
Food is not very fantastic here and i really dont like it when they the moment i slipped the soup spoon into the soup of the day, up came the main course. The table we had was already damn small lor!
And Jeff is still siam-ing away from the camera.
Now you know the reason why Jeff and I had never, and i mean NEVER taken a single photo together despite knowing each other for 3 years!
So, Ms Amber starting nagging and nagging non stop until we finally took pictures together. LMAO
We might never have a chance to take pictures, or worst, not meet up for the next 2 years leh!
Then we continued to shop before we settle for our last stop at Hagaan Daaz for ice cream.
Yummy!
While shopping, i coincidentally bumped into YiHao,Glenn and Roy, so after the ice cream, we went over to Harry's @ Esplanade and met the other girls while Jeff went home.
Glenn cannot take pictures cos he just did lasik.
After that we went for supper at the food place beside DXO.
Yummy!!
And there's where i saw Eugene,
and i also saw Jordan. But we didnt take any pictures cos he was acting dao.
Oh yes, i finally got to taste some donuts that crazy people were queueing for, all thanks to Glenn.
I am very sua ku i know, it tasted not too bad lah. I havent tried Donut Factory's ones yet. Can someone please queue for me?
Yesterday i had a very happy shopping spree at VivoCity with Jeffrey. I went into every shop and left the shop with at least an item. Topshop, Forever 21, Zara, Pull and Bear, Tangs, you name it i bought it.
And there goes $300 bucks off my savings account.
Saw many familiar faces too!
The journey there was an hour long train ride. So sian lor!
Jeffrey hates to take pictures, cos he always siam the camera. Dont believe?
First stop - lunch @ Superdogs.
Its our both virgin visit to this fast food place. Pretty ex i would say but the food is pretty good.
Jeff siams the camera from the train station all the way to lunch.
Shopped all the way after lunch till dinner. Then suddenly, i spotted a pretty girl at Chomel.
Long time no see Emelia, we must meet up soon okay?!
Jeff and i had dinner at Mussel Guys.
Food is not very fantastic here and i really dont like it when they the moment i slipped the soup spoon into the soup of the day, up came the main course. The table we had was already damn small lor!
And Jeff is still siam-ing away from the camera.
Now you know the reason why Jeff and I had never, and i mean NEVER taken a single photo together despite knowing each other for 3 years!
So, Ms Amber starting nagging and nagging non stop until we finally took pictures together. LMAO
We might never have a chance to take pictures, or worst, not meet up for the next 2 years leh!
Then we continued to shop before we settle for our last stop at Hagaan Daaz for ice cream.
Yummy!
While shopping, i coincidentally bumped into YiHao,Glenn and Roy, so after the ice cream, we went over to Harry's @ Esplanade and met the other girls while Jeff went home.
Glenn cannot take pictures cos he just did lasik.
After that we went for supper at the food place beside DXO.
Yummy!!
And there's where i saw Eugene,
and i also saw Jordan. But we didnt take any pictures cos he was acting dao.
Oh yes, i finally got to taste some donuts that crazy people were queueing for, all thanks to Glenn.
I am very sua ku i know, it tasted not too bad lah. I havent tried Donut Factory's ones yet. Can someone please queue for me?
sealed-with-a-kiss < 6:25:00 pm
___________________________________________
Saturday, July 7
> pictures galore
I cant wait to go shopping with Jeffrey tomorrow, although i think he wil restrict my buys.
Vivocity, here we go!!
For now, updates about last Saturday where the Faith 4-3 people met up at a condo in Clarke Quay (although only a handful turn up)
Damn nice can the place! Looking down is where all the pubs are. And we're just like in the middle of the clubbing place.
Pictures time!
My class people. Quite a number left earlier before Eunice and I came.
With YuXiang. The first thing i asked when i saw him was "wth are you doing at my class gathering?" HAHA, but i was very glad to see him there.
I drove Darrel's car back to Gary's place to pick his car up and send Hoi Keong home at the same time, then i continued to drive them back to my place for Mahjong.
And WE almost died. WE = myself, Darrel and Yu Xiang (Eunice took Gary's car). All thanks to me lor, almost collided with the taxi behind while changing lane at PIE. Its really damn scary lah. I bet Darrel's balls sank man.
And Smiley Face, this is just for you!
What i wear to work.
Then on Sunday was David's 21st. Took a lift from Leonard to the chalet cos its so wulu wulu lah. Went for a ride with Derrick halfway the barbecue and i took over the wheels and wooohoooo, my heart almost flew. (not gonna tell you why!) One time experience only.
Chalet = mahjong + blackjack.
Won $$ =)
I cant wait to go shopping with Jeffrey tomorrow, although i think he wil restrict my buys.
Vivocity, here we go!!
For now, updates about last Saturday where the Faith 4-3 people met up at a condo in Clarke Quay (although only a handful turn up)
Damn nice can the place! Looking down is where all the pubs are. And we're just like in the middle of the clubbing place.
Pictures time!
My class people. Quite a number left earlier before Eunice and I came.
With YuXiang. The first thing i asked when i saw him was "wth are you doing at my class gathering?" HAHA, but i was very glad to see him there.
I drove Darrel's car back to Gary's place to pick his car up and send Hoi Keong home at the same time, then i continued to drive them back to my place for Mahjong.
And WE almost died. WE = myself, Darrel and Yu Xiang (Eunice took Gary's car). All thanks to me lor, almost collided with the taxi behind while changing lane at PIE. Its really damn scary lah. I bet Darrel's balls sank man.
And Smiley Face, this is just for you!
What i wear to work.
Then on Sunday was David's 21st. Took a lift from Leonard to the chalet cos its so wulu wulu lah. Went for a ride with Derrick halfway the barbecue and i took over the wheels and wooohoooo, my heart almost flew. (not gonna tell you why!) One time experience only.
Chalet = mahjong + blackjack.
Won $$ =)
sealed-with-a-kiss < 3:24:00 am
___________________________________________
* yours truly.
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